


For Pumpkin Pie

by awesomecookies



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Both of them are terrible with feelings, Confessions, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fucking talk, Hand Jobs, Humor, Insults, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Ash Lynx, Pining Eiji Okumura, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Slurs, Smut, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, They need to talk asghssjks, assholes, so help me god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22525243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecookies/pseuds/awesomecookies
Summary: You're crazy Ash." Eiji raised a brow at Ash's bizarre suggestion. His roommate was reading too many weird articles online again or something. Who knows what he was thinking. Well, no one ever knew what genius wunderkind Aslan Jade Callenreese ever thought, but this....This was a little out of the blue wasn't it?-Fake dating AU where both of them secretly pines! Yes! I am uncreative but we're all here anyway!
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Griffin Callenreese & Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji & Shorter Wong
Comments: 96
Kudos: 319





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sup....I have no excuse for this other than its self indulgent. It's shitty and stuff and probably a little OOC by here we are!

"You're crazy Ash." Eiji raised a brow at Ash's bizarre suggestion. His roommate was reading too many weird articles online again or something. Who knows what he was thinking. Well, no one ever knew what genius wunderkind Aslan Jade Callenreese ever thought, but this....

This was a little out of the blue wasn't it?

"Come on. I need this." Ash pleaded. "It's only because your family is so accepting of...well...you. That you don't know about my position." He actually pouted, and god Eiji was so weak for Ash's pout. And when he pairs that up with jade green puppy eyes? K.O. Eiji is dead. This boy had more power over him than anyone else in the world.

"Leave my family out of this. I'm still not doing it." Eiji cleared his throat. He wasn't going to let his resolve crumble over some blond hair and a pair of green eyes. A beautiful pair, his head provided unhelpfully. "Besides, we both know I'm...as you said it...me. I don't exactly look like a 'delinquent' as you say it." 

"You can dress up the part. Just take off the comfy sweaters, maybe slick back your hair and you'll be fine. Plus we can clip on a piercing on your ear. I know Shorter has one." Ash insisted anyway, absolutely oblivious to Eiji's internal meltdown. He sighed.

"Ash, I appreciate you think you can trust me with this, but I really really don't think I could do this. Can't Shorter do it?"

Over all, Eiji simply knew it was a bad idea. Pretending to be Ash's asshole boyfriend to piss off his family was a very bad idea. 

"Can't. Jennifer already knows we're just friends. And so by default my old man knows." Ash grumbled. "I would if only, but Eiji, do you really want me to go to some Thanksgiving dinner without physically killing someone? Because if you do, you have to come me." 

Eiji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why don't you just _not_ go?"

"Because Griff would give me the stink eye for letting him deal that shit all on his own." Ash got up and paced the room. The sunset danced on Ash's face as it streamed through the blinds of the windows. "Plus I'd like to introduce you to him if I could. He's the only one I like in my family." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Eiji's face heated up. He looked so vulnerable in that state, so sad and yet so beautiful. Eiji's always hated how unfairly beautiful his roommate was. An urge to hold him filled Eiji like water into glass.

"Besides, it's not like you have plans for Thanksgiving. You're Japanese. I know you're only planning to binge anime in our room." And he destroyed the moment by calling Eiji out. Wonderful. Why does he love this idiot again.

"Funny you should say that. Unlike you white Americans, I don't celebrate the genocide of natives with turkey while complaining that you hate your families." Eiji snarked with a defiant smile on his lips, arms crossed against his chest.

Ash quirked a brow, just a bit amused. "Look, you're doing so well already. Keep that up and you'll piss them right off." He ran another hand through his hair. Goddamn, Eiji's starting to wonder if he found out he actually liked it when he does that. 

That can't be though. Ash was very oblivious with his affection, and even if he wasn't. He was surely not his type, and Ash wasn't that cruel to tease him.

But then Eiji realized what Ash just said and threw a pillow at him. Ash laughed it off anyway. 

"Come on, help a friend?" And he was back to wheedling him into joining his plan. 

"I'm not the only friend you have surely?" Eiji groaned a little helplessly, that sinking feeling in his gut was already simmering. He knew he was never strong against Ash and his whims.

"No, but you're the only one I don't mind kissing." Ash muttered. 

What?

"What?" Eiji just stared at him with what he assumed was the reddest face one could imagine and mind suddenly jumbled up into a hot mess. Surely he heard that wrong?

"Y-yeah. You know. We're friends." Ash shrugged, suddenly a little shy. "Can you really imagine me kissing Alex? Or Sing? And you know...I kinda have to kiss to sell the act." Ash finished lamely.

Ah. Something within Eiji deflated. How stupid of him to suddenly feel some kind of hope for a chance to have these feelings of his returned. Of course it was only for Ash's con. 

"Well, maybe you should try kissing Arthur. Or Yue. They're way better at pissing people off." Eiji joked instead, quashing that ugly feeling from inside of him. This was nothing new after all.

"Oh god. They do it too well I'll get pissed myself." Ash grimaced. And Eiji laughed at his reaction, much like a cat sprayed with a spritzer. Then Ash's face lit up like a tree, struck by some other bizarre idea from his genius.

"Oh! Do you remember that batch of brownies that you absolutely loved last year? The one I brought back? Yeah there's gonna be plenty more if you come with me." Ash clapped his hands. 

"The one so with weed mixed in?" Eiji raised a brow. He recalled realizing in mortification when he woke up the next day after the drug crash, having little blurry memories over what transpired the previous night. Ash teased him endlessly about it. The only saving grace Eiji had was the fact that all he spoke was Japanese so no grave secret was spilled

"Okay maybe not that shit. And for the record, those were my cousin's brownies." Ash laughed, probably remembering that memory as well, most likely more than what Eiji could remember. "Oh wait, you liked Jennifer's homemade pie right? The pumpkin pie."

"I thought you hated pumpkins." Eiji snorted. 

"Not when they're made into pies." Ash waved his hand dismissively. "Anyway, pumpkin pie. You loved it, yeah? Come on." 

Eiji figures that if Ash was just a few moments short of kneeling in front of him, then maybe Ash really hated his family enough. Still, the idea of Ash on his knees in front of him, begging, was such a strange concept, if not a little too much for Eiji to deal with.

Ah love really made you stupid didn't it?

"Fine. But I'm only there for the pumpkin pie." Eiji sighed, feeling like just sold his soul to the devil. They all know it's a lie. He wasn't just there for the pie. And this was going to hurt like a bitch didn't it? He was going to regret this. 

_Oh Ash Lynx, why are you so good at making people fall in love with you?_ Eiji mourned.

"Fuck yeah!" Ash pumped his fist. "I fucking love you Eiji. You're the best!" 

A little bit of Eiji cracked at that. "Should I say I love you back?" He rolled his eyes instead. No need to mope for something he already knew all along.

Ash looked distracted. "Maybe?" He cleared his throat. "Anyway we're leaving tomorrow so we're going to to Shorter's for some clothes and shit. I'm sure Nadia has something for you to wear." He rambled on while coaxing Eiji to his feet.

"Wait why Nadia's?" Eiji spluttered. "Why can't I get Shorter's clothes instead?!" He continued to whine. 

"Tell me that when you actually fit Shorter's clothes." Ash snickered. 

Eiji groaned. This was going to be a long weekend. 

* * *

"What I'm saying is...you're crazy." Shorter murmured to Ash while Eiji was changing. "Like batshit crazy. What is even going on in that 180 IQ brain of yours?"

"Yes, Eiji had already told me that. Thanks a lot." Ash grumbled while waiting for his Jasmine tea to cool down. His plan was foolproof. He could potentially get kicked out of those Thanksgiving parties forever and he could spend more time with Eiji while showing him off to his family. Besides Griff had wanted to meet Eiji for a while now. 

Mostly though, it was just a shameless excuse to spend time with him.

Ash remembered when he met Eiji the first time. He was new to the whole American scene, doe eyed and innocent, asking Ash in his lilting Japanese accent if 'this was the room he was staying in'. 

Ash didn't know why he was infatuated with the boy now, and he didn't know how it started either, but now it did and it was hitting him hard. Fuck.

"Did you even consider what he might feel?" Shorter clicked his tongue, cutting through his train of thoughts. 

"Hey since when did you become the voice of reason, asshole?" Ash grumbled.

"Since Eiji is involved." Ash could see the disapproving stare in Shorter's eyes despite him wearing his dark tinted glasses. "Look me in the eye and tell me you'll be fine kissing him and telling yourself it means nothing. Or that he won't feel hurt while you both treat it as nothing when we all know it's not." 

Ah damn him. When did he become this uptight? Actually when did he become this responsible? The Shorter he knew was the first one with the reckless ideas, not that this idea was reckless. It was just a little tricky.

"It's not like he's into me anyway." Ash shrugged, not letting Shorter get in the way of his plans. Besides Ash knew Eiji was uninterested. He's avoided all of Ash's hints of him liking the Japanese boy. 

Ash still remembered the look of dread Eiji's face when he sobered up from that accidental high, realizing he'd been all over Ash while he was intoxicated. It hurt, but life was like that, and Eiji physically affectionate of Ash was only due to the pot brownies.

Shorter gave Ash a funny look.

"What?" Ash snapped.

"Both of you are idiots." Shorter finally sighed. "You'll probably regret this Lynx, or you're going to finally end up getting laid. Nothing in between." 

Ash laughed a quick puff. "Yeah right like I said. Uninterested." But he wasn't able to answer anymore due to the interruption.

"Oh-kay...uhh please tell me I do not look stupid?" Eiji walked in the room shyly, Nadia behind him. 

Ash was getting mixed feelings. He scanned him from head to toe. 

First Eiji's hair had been partly slicked back. He wore eyeliner on his eyes and a clip on was stuck on his ear. This ws Shorter's metal clip on way back before he actually pierced his ears. 

Second, Eiji was wearing a choker. This was Nadia's choker along with the pink crop top he wore. The ripped shorts didn't help Ash's case at all as it accentuate Eiji's muscles thighs. Shorter's leather jacket draped all over his shoulder at least covered some of Eiji's body which was a mercy to Ash. 

Thirdly, at least he wore black sneakers instead of cherry red high heels which they actually planned since Eiji wouldn't fit in the size and since he couldn't stand in them, much less walk in it.

It was a very strange look. But Ash still wanted to whimper at the sight, only his sense if dignity preventing him to.

"I think I look like a hustler." Eiji finally said, after looking at himself in the mirror. His face pouted at what he saw.

"I think that would help your case Eiji." Shorter laughed. "If it helps, you're a very sexy hustler. The prettiest." 

Eiji stuck out his tongue at him.

"You look perfect." 

Eiji snapped his face at his direction.

Ash cleared his throat when his brain stopped getting fried from short-circuitng. "Like what Shorter said. You'll piss off my conservative relatives perfectly." 

Shorter arched a brow. Ash didn't bother caring what that meant.

"I don't see why you can't just piss them off yourself." Eiji roller his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. He was wearing hot pink glittered manicure too. Holy shit.

"They're already immune so come on. Let's get moving." Ash grinned. It was going to be a great weekend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We can turn back or something. Or I can go on my own. I'll give you some money for the ride home." He looked dejected, like a kicked puppy. 
> 
> Goddamnit. Eiji wondered if he was doing this on purpose and was actually low-key a manipulative psychopath in secret deep inside. 
> 
> Well...he's a damn handsome psychopath if anything. 
> 
> That was definitely not what his priorities should be, Eiji silently chided himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol new chapter! So soon! Yeah I dont know what's gotten into me either
> 
> Anyway thanks for the support and kudos and comments! Maybe that's why I wrote faster this time ahahah

_"I think I look stupid." He murmured to Nadia while she painted his nails. "I look like....I don't even know what I look like."_

_"You know these are technically my clothes?" Nadia chuckled while telling him to hold still._

_"Yes, but you look good in them." Eiji whined. "Ash is gonna laugh at me. Shorter too." He's avoided looking at the mirror because he torn between crying and laughing with how ridiculous he looked. Mostly the latter, but still._

_"You look good in them too Ei-chan. And Ash is too head over heels in love with you to ever hurt you intentionally. He'd probably think you're hot in that." Nadia finished with the manicure and proceeded to do his eyeliner with strict instructions not to move his hands too much._

_"Haha. Very funny. You and Shorter really share the same wicked humor." Eiji pouted._

_"If you say so Ei-chan." Nadia chuckled once more with her smooth voice. There was something about her cool and calm nature despite the playfulness in her eyes that somehow made her feel reliable. After the eyeliner, she worked on his hair. "Someday you will see it. When you want to see it."_

_"That's the problem I think. I want to see it too much I end up seeing it though it isn't there." Eiji pouted, a little frustrated._

_"Well, if you really think so, just seduce him over the weekend." Nadia finished. "You look good. You sure I can't coax you into wearing the mesh and fishnets one instead?"_

_Eiji blushed. "Nadia!"_

_That was too scandalous. This was revealing enough as it is. Eiji wasn't going to dinner technically half naked with his nipples nearly out for everyone to see._

_Nadia laughed. See, a wicked send of humor. "Here,_ _I think it'll suit you better instead." And she tied a choker on his neck._

_Eiji stared at his reflection. He found that he liked it and the metal heart it was tied on. He laughed. "If I didn't know better, I'd think this was part of a BDSM outfit."_

_Nadia raised a brow. "Sure, if that helps you sleep better."_

_Eiji choked._

He spaced out for a bit with that memory and suddenly hauled back to the present when a loud honk warned them not to drive too dangerously, or to warn Ash not to drive too dangerously.

_Oh god hes going to get us killed._

* * *

"Why are we on Shorter's bike instead of just riding the bus again?!" 

Eiji yelled from the loud roaring of the motor bike while they zipped act the interstate on the way to Massachusetts. They've been on the way since after lunch.

"Aesthetic Eiji! It's all for the aesthetic!" Ash cackled manically all in his helmeted glory. "Nothing grates on my aunt Julie's nerves than seeing a big bike like this! Plus it's a good excuse to leave early tomorrow! That is if we actually last till tomorrow!" With that, Ash increased the speed of the bike.

"We're going to hecking die Ash!" Eiji tightened his grip on Ash's waist, which _definitely_ wasn't the reason why Ash did it in the first place. (Nor the feeling of the heat of Eiji's chest against his back, or the way he'd say something against his ear which caused him goosebumps, or the way he would press his face on his neck in nervousness.) Yep. Definitely not that.

"Might wanna upgrade your repertoire of curses if you want to be taken seriously." Ash yelled back. He was almost sure Eiji was going to give him the finger if he wasn't clutching for his dear life.

"Ash!" Eiji buried his face on his neck and yep, there it was, his cold nose brushed against Ash's jaw, breath tickling his ear. He was getting a little distracted with the funny feeling in his gut and the pounding in his chest.

"Why don't we stop for gas?" Ash turned the bike to the nearest gas station on the road, making a little detour. It's not like they were in a hurry. Being late was also part of the act.

* * *

"Okay is there anything you might want to tell me before we actually get into the thing?" Eiji grumbled while munching on his burger. To think he couldn't finish one back when he was new to America. Ah what had this godforsaken country done to him? He was consuming pure calories.

"Okay a quick overview of my family." Ash poured mustard on his own burger, one habit of his that Eiji simply could not tolerate. There was _too_ much mustard. _("There's never enough mustard Eiji. Never."_ ) Food was always the subject of debate between Ash and Eiji. "My old man, Jim, his wife Jennifer. My brother Griffin. You got all that already, now for the good part."

He straightened his posture, beckoning Eiji to come closer, and Eiji was drawn anyway. "There's my uncle John who is a bit of a homophoic fuck up. Thankfully he's got no children. I'd be sorry for the kids. He's way worse than my old man and we know how shitty he is." 

The descriptions were not encouraging, nor was it painting an optimistic picture. Eiji will probably end up killing Ash by the end of this weekend.

"So my aunt Julie and her husband is gonna be there as well who I'm not bothered to know the name of. I think it was Roger? Or Raymond? I remember him being a dick."

"Umm... Richard?" Eiji snorted. Ash snapped his fingers.

"Yes! That's it. Richard. They have two kids. Karen and Marcus." 

"The kid's names sound like white suburban parents." Eiji chuckled and Ash's eyes lit up at that. 

"Oh they are suburban people. The parents are terrible conservatives and by extension, racists. They're part of that Christian cult or some disguised church that shit on people who are different. You know, the type who thinks they're being subtle but aren't? But appearances are important to them too, so they won't out right tell you." Ash started to munch on his mustard infested sandwich.

Eiji grimaced. "You're not making it any appealing. I'm not throwing myself into open fire as they call me Chinese when I'm Japanese while all I could do is smile and wave like nothing." This was a terrible idea after all. Why did he agree to this?

"I'm not asking you to smile and wave like nothing. I'm asking you to throw hands. Go wild. All much better if you manage to bruise someone." Ash grinned. "And knowing you, you're the pettiest shit I've ever met. You'll do fine."

Eiji spluttered. "I'm not going to hurt your family! And I'm not petty!"

Ash raised a brow. "I perfectly recalled you decking the fuck out of someone who called Skipper some racist slur. Or when someone said all Japanese are hentai lovers in front of you. Punching racists isn't actually the issue." 

Eiji groaned. "That's different. And let that die please? That was a one time thing." He buried his face in his arms.

"Shorter said he found you throwing hands with--"

"Agh! Okay I get it!" Eiji wailed more, blush creeping in his face. He didn't want to remember any of that embarrassing moments anymore. He wished it would just die away into oblivion but _someone_ just couldn't seem to get over it.

"See, I know you can handle yourself. I trust you." Ash winked at him. Actually winked at him. The gall. The nerve. Eiji would've caused a riot had it only been legally allowed.

"It's still not a pleasant experience." Eiji mumbled. Ash expression changed at this. "I don't actually like starting fights."

Ash fell silent.

"Do you really hate it?" He asked after a moment of pause, this time with less bite and teasing, instead with actual concern in his face. "We can turn back or something. Or I can go on my own. I'll give you some money for the ride home." He looked dejected, like a kicked puppy. 

Goddamnit. Eiji wondered if he was doing this on purpose and was actually low-key a manipulative psychopath in secret deep inside. 

_Well...he's a damn handsome psychopath if anything._

That was definitely not what his priorities should be, Eiji silently chided himself.

"I realize. I can be a bit...too much." Ash continued while rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry. I didn't consider your feelings. I forget myself most of the times. I wasn't raised to be the most, uhh considerate. Still if you really hate it, like I said we can just cancel. I'm sure I could handle Griff getting pissed at me for half a year."

Eiji now felt sorry. Goddamnit. At this rate, Ash could tell him to strip naked and jump into the icy waters of Antarctica and he'd thank him anyway. Ash be the reason why he'd shoot someone and he'd do it regardless with enthusiasm. (Eiji was almost sure that in another life, he had already done so. Don't ask him how he knew, he just had this gut feeling.) 

Ash was too charismatic, it was unfair. He could never say no to him. Or perhaps it had something to do with being too damn in love with him for his own good? He's been told that when he loved, he loved fiercely and damningly.

_You're wrong Nadia, I'm the one head over heels with him._

"And you decide to tell me this when we're already halfway through the interstate?" Eiji arched a brow, he's starting to take in some of Ash's mannerisms as well. Help him. "I was promised pumpkin pie Ash, I'm going to get pumpkin pie." He kept his tone in a teasing lilt but it was kind of hard with how Ash suddenly perked up with gratefulness and excitement.

"Have I told you how much I love you Eiji?" 

Eiji rolled his eyes. "Many times Ash. It's almost funny as the first time you said it." He laughed. But he did wish that Ash's would stop saying that as a joke.

* * *

While driving through the remaining miles to Massachusetts, Ash tried not to show how much it pained him to know that Eiji never took these small confessions seriously.

Of course, he should be used to it by now. Eiji probably thought of them as only jokes. (Ash kinda did just presented them as such, if it was the only way to say it to him. He had to say it somehow.)

He still remembered the first time it slipped out. ("You don't need to say that just because I'm giving you this favor. That sounds too funny coming from your mouth.") Ash really didn't know how to react with that so he did what most people would do. He laughed it off. Somehow he's been secretly confessing all the time now while he posed them as jokes. 

Still, either Eiji was damn oblivious or he didn't want to deal with Ash's shit load of feelings. Ash bets strongly on the latter, but he's still silently hoping for the former. Desperately hoping for the former. 

This was actually ridiculous though. Ash thought he wasn't the type to want to date anybody, especially with all the people trying to get into his pants. But Eiji...well, Eiji was different. There wss something charming about him. He was witty, and funny and actually had good opinions. Ash didn't mind being with him. Plus it doesn't hurt that he looked so cute.

Well, cute wasn't exactly the word to describe him now.

"We're here. Crummy old Cape Cod." Ash parked right in front of a wooden two storey house by the cliff near the beach. Not before revving the engine obnoxiously.

Ash got off the bike and helped Eiji down. The Japanese took his helmet off and now his slicked back hair became slightly tussled and messed up. 

If Ash had to be honest, he'd say Eiji definitely looked hot. Shit. God cursed him with bisexuality to torment him twice what a straight person would go through.

_But bisexuality isn't a curse Ash, if anything it opened up a lot of choices. And one of those choices happened to be in damned ripped shorts and a pink crop top._ A voice that sounded suspiciously like Shorter whispered in his mind. He shoved that thought away.

This was by far the best and worst idea of his lately. 

"Shall we?" Eiji asked nervously, worrying his bottom lip that had been painstakingly applied with flavored lip balm. Ash wondered what it tasted.

They headed towards the porch to knock. And knowing his asshole relatives, they'd let him wait before they'd open the damn door.

"Hey Ash?" Eiji would thrum in anxiety I he could. His foot was already tapping in distress. "We're kinda of umm... physical as a couple right?" 

Ash's heart beat faster at that. _As a couple._ Oh if only. 

"I guess? That's what couples do I think?" Ash could hear the footsteps finally coming to open the door. It was probably Griff.

"Don't get mad." 

Ash was confused. "Wh--mrgh!"

But he didn't really finish that sentence when he registered Eiji pulling the front of his shirt, and crashing his lips into his, tongue and teeth meeting. It was so inexperienced, and sloppy but Ash's mind was short circuiting with it. His mind a mantra of the same thing over and over.

_Holyfuckholyfuckholyfuckholyfuckfuckfuckfuck._

_Eiji was kissing him._

Eiji wrapped his arms around his neck and Ash finally remembered to kiss back after a moan, taking charge of the rhythm and pace, making less desperate, less filthy and more enjoyable, that wasn't saying that Eiji kissing him out of the blue wasn't.

And finally they broke up for air, Eiji panting and flushed and absolutely wrecked and red faced. Ash probably was as well. 

Scandalously, Eiji licked his lips with mischief before turning. "Oh, good evening." His voice silky as he purred and god Ash's knees were weak, both from the octave of his voice and from the kiss. He'd forgotten about the door opening.

Thankfully it wasn't Griffin waiting for them, but his aunt Julie who had this most appalled expression on her face, like she'd died and saw Jesus before casted away from heaven.

Ash wanted to laugh, but he was still catching his breath from the sudden turn of events. He supposed, he was sporting a rather large dopey grin on his lips.

"Hello aunt Julie, what a lovely evening am I right?" He winked at Eiji who all but giggled. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

Aunt Julie was not amused. 

"Aslan," she smiled thinly. "I see you brought your..." She glanced at Eiji from head to toe, obviously displeased with what he saw.

"Boyfriend." Eiji grinned. "I'm Ash's boyfriend." He wrapped an arm around Ash's waist and batted his lashes at him. Holy shit Eiji was killing the role.

Aunt Julie looked like she wanted to wrinkle her nose. 

"Won't you let us in? We've been riding for hours now and we're a little bit tired." Ash added salt to the wound. She glanced over to the bike parked by the front and sighed.

"Aslan. Is that you?" A gentle voice beckoned from inside. Jennifer appeared by the doorway as well.

"Hey Jennifer." Ash waved.

"Aslan. So good to see you home." She ushered them inside, ignoring his aunt Julie. "I see you brought a friend. Come, Griff wants to see you. He's in the kitchen."

Aunt Julie eyed them with malice but otherwise stayed silent. Ash simply grinned and followed Jennifer, leading Eiji with him. 

Still, the feeling of Eiji's lips on his, Ash will never forget. And he learned something really important that night.

Eiji's lip balm was strawberry flavored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash could be insensitive goddamn ahahaha  
> But surprisingly Eiji is a ride or die kind of person so here we are
> 
> And Nadia is my baby. All the girls in BF are my babies


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry sweetie, you're in America. Speak English." Julie snapped with her condescending tone. Oh Ash wanted to deck her, but he knew Eiji was doing it on purpose.
> 
> "Sorry, English bad." He began again in such a heavy accent, and that obviously put a wrinkle on Julie's nose. Marcus snickered. Irritation started to roll within them. "I thank all you for inviting me in your lovely holiday. We have no Thanksgiving in Japan and this such a interesting exchange of culture," his grin insufferable. Oh god Eiji was killing it. "I find it interesting how Americans celebrate the killings of natives with turkey and pie. It's very exotic, nothing like my home town, so I thank you all for the experience."
> 
> Someone choked at what he just said. Probably Marcus. Ash held back his laughter as hard as he could. 
> 
> "Right, thank you for that. Aslan, do you have anything you want to say?" Richard cleared his throat, looking a little uncomfortable. Good, Ash thought. He should be.
> 
> Ash grinned lazily. "I'm thankful for all the crazy good sex Eiji has given me." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 86 years....
> 
> Jesus Christ hahahaa I'm sorry it took so long. I realized midway writing this that I don't actually know how to be an asshole. Haha so I legit don't know how to write this chapter. I did my best though.
> 
> Warning some serious bigoted insults lmao. I thought it night be comical, but you may never know. So please tread with caution.i might have used some slurs

Eiji was grinning wide.

But that's on the outside.

Inside? He's dying, absolutely dead, deceased, six feet under. The entirety of his thoughts were a series of "what the fuck?" and "fucking hell". But in reality he could summarize it with one single "fuck". 

So that's the thing. 

Ash had grinned at him while he wrapped his arm around Eiji's waist. He tried not to think about those fingers casually grazing on the skin near the hem of his shorts, making circles with his thumb. Fuck. And Ash was wearing the cologne Eiji loved the most on him, the one that smelled like pine and something sharp, mixed with his sweat and the interstate scent of traffic. His musk was making Eiji's knees weak. 

Eiji also tried not to think about how he just pulled Ash into a kiss. A kiss without permission, a kiss that was sloppy and deep and inexperienced. Still the feeling of Ash's lips burned on Eiji's own, the taste of his mouth still in his tongue, the taste of soda and mustard. It was admittedly a strange combination but entirely like Ash.

Eiji wanted to roll up and die. Or scream into the void. Or both. Both is good.

"Aslan I'm glad you finally showed up. It's about time you did." A voice called out just as Ash steered them into the kitchen. A strawberry blond man with what Eiji saw were kind dirty blue eyes turned to them with an expression that looked a little annoyed but mostly glad to see them.

"Hey Griff. Good to see you too." Ash let go of Eiji (and Eiji definitelty did not miss Ash's warmth as he did) and went to hug Griffin with enthusiasm. The brothers laughed before they pulled away. "You look like you hadn't aged at all."

Griffin flicked Ash's forehead. "Save it. It's not gonna make me forgive you that easily for being late." He snickered. Ash rubbed his forehead with a grumble. It was so refreshing to see Ash with someone else he's comfortable with. Back in university, he's only ever allowed much physical contact with Eiji. And Shorter occasionally. Here he's totally relaxed with his brother.

"So I take this is...?" Griffin glanced at Eiji, which caused him to straighten up. Was he supposed to bow? Shake hands? Act like a cocky bastard? 

"This is Eiji Okumura. Eiji, this is Griffin, my brother." Ash prompted. He glanced over Eiji and then back to his brother. "Eiji is my, uhh boyfriend."

Griffin narrowed his eyes at Eiji, and Eiji suppressed the urge to swallow thickly. His eyes seemed to be gauging him and all the layers of his soul. Damn.

"Huh. He's not exactly what I pictured in my mind." Griffin hummed. "He doesn't seem like your type."

Eiji felt that stab to his heart. He really didn't need to shove it in his face. Darn it.

"When you mentioned him to me in your calls, I never thought he would look like Shorter or something." Griffin continued. "The way you described him, I've always thought your type were those shyer ones. Especially with how much you talked about how soft he looked in this sweater one ti--"

Ash made a noise that was midway a groan and a screech. Something that was absolutely impossible to make with human voice alone and yet Ash somehow didn't anyway. "Griff!" 

What? 

Eiji did a double take. 

He didn't hear all that right did he?

Ash looked between furious and flustered while Griffin had his arms crossed against his chest, smile absolutely wide.

"Well I'm glad you finally decided to get yourself together with how much you talk about him." Griffin teased. Okay now that definitely meant Ash talked about him to his brother a lot. Eiji's stomach felt like it was twisted into knots.

"He's my roommate of course I'll talk about him!" Ash grumbled. More knots in his guts. Of course of course. No need to feel too excited, Eiji thought. Still. Eiji was mostly glad they managed to convince Griffin without much work. He was a little worried that he'll see through their little con. Eiji didn't really know what Ash had in mind. 

"Of course Aslan. If you say so." Griffin once again snickered before going back to preparing Ash looked absolutely disgruntled, not to mention flustered as well. "Oh and Aslan," Griffin paused midway stirring something from the pot. "Do me a favor and stay away from the kitchen. You tend to blow up everything you touch."

Eiji snickered. The last time Ash tried to cook, their kitchen nearly burned down and Eiji had to frantically turn off the fire alarm before the sprinklers sprayed them with water.

"Yeah yeah, anyway." Ash wrapped his arms around Eiji once more, making him tense up. "We'll be in my room--"

"Oh no. Go play nice with your aunt, uncle and cousin." Griffin raised a brow. "And Aslan, whatever plans you might have with with your boyfriend, I suggest you do it later because you know how aunt Julie's husband gets when two people do anything remotely sexual in front of him." 

Griffin simply looked absolutely tired. While Ash snorted. "No promises." He shot a smirk before he led Eiji away. Eiji on the other hand coughed. He nearly choked at the implications of that. No, no, he should not mind that, It's probably just a fluke. Ash was a very good con man. 

"Also a touch on the hand is sexual enough to that dick." He paused and shot back at Griffin before snatching a cookie from the tray Jennifer was holding. Griffin gave him an admonishing look, but it was obvious that he was also amused. 

"Aslan! That's for later!" Jennifer smacked Ash's hand. But Ash simply grinned at her. "Oh you silly boy, but only that and nothing more."

"One more for Eiji?" Ash pleaded. Jennifer looked at Eiji and sighed.

"Alright. One more for Eiji." She pinched his cheek. 

"You're an angel Jen, still wondering why you decided to stay with the old man." He kissed her on the cheek. It warmed Eiji's heart to see Ash this affectionate with the only two people he probably considered his family. 

Well, that was until Ash shoved a cookie on his mouth. 

"Hey!" Eiji's splutter was muffled by the snack on his mouth. 

"Shh. Chew it. It's good right?" Ash his face bright and excited. He's like a kid right now, honestly. And jeez, Eiji would complain if only Ash didn't look so goddamn cute with how much he glowed while eating his cookie. Well, and the cookie was pretty good, he had to admit it.

"Okay. I think we need to make a safe word." Ash murmured to him. Eiji actually liked that idea.

"Sure sure." Eiji nodded enthusiastically after swallowing the treat. "Wait. Was it because of the kiss? Did I make you uncomfortable?" 

Ash's face reddened. "No. That was good actually. I like it. It's just that I might go too far at some point. I need to know if something is too much for you. I'll stop."

"Ah." Eiji understood. 

"Good. Now what safe word do you want?" 

Eiji was terrible when asked directly. He blurted the first thing he could think of. "Umm....pumpkin...pie?" 

Ash snorted. "Of course. Great, say pumpkin pie if you don't like what's happening alright?"

"Okay."

"Alright, listen to me." Ash whispered to his ear. "I hope you're ready, because this is going to be the real deal." It wasn't long after Ash said this that a man came in the living room, staring at them with a look of disapproval. 

"Oh would you look at that." He scoffed. "It's the wayward son. Surprised you haven't gotten yourself killed yet." He leveled him with that stare. Eiji didn't like how he was looking at them.

"Oh shut up Marcus." Ash wrapped an arm around Eiji's waist. "You're jealous because your upright father won't let you do anything remotely fun. I bet you haven't even kissed a girl."

"I don't need to hear that from a whore. Fucking faggots." He shot back. Oh wow that's getting on Eiji's nerves too quickly. They haven't even gone past five seconds. 

"Leave him alone Ash. I think the only girl he kissed was his mother." Eiji trailed his fingers on Ash's chest coyly. Marcus' eyes narrowed at them. Eiji shot back an infuriating wink. Ash said to let out his inner bastard. Well he's pent up quite a lot of spite. It's time let it all loose.

Ash laughed, Eiji sent him a playful look. Marcus was just red. 

"At least I have a mom. Yours left you long ago." The man spat out. Ooh low blow. It's obvious that he was affected, but at what cost? Eiji knew very well that the mother issue was such a sensitive topic to Ash.

Ash's hand trembled just slightly. Eiji kept his voice from hitching. Why were these people so mean? Jesus Christ. 

"Marcus dear, why don't you fetch some wine from Jim's cellar?" Jennifer swooped in to the rescue, probably hearing the commotion. Ash let out a deep breath and called it quits for now. Marcus stared at him before going to the room downstairs. 

"Aslan, play nice." Jennifer tutted. 

"He started is Jen." Ash huffed. 

"You know better than that. Marcus is a little....hopeless." Jennifer offered a thin smile. She looked just as weary as the rest of them.

"Alright I'll try not to." Ash grumbled. He slumped into the couch while Jennifer went back to the kitchen. Eiji sat next to him.

"I'm guessing that isn't the worst of it." Eiji cringed.

"Yep." Ash sighed. Then he perked up. "Speaking of. Sit here. Come on." 

"What are you doing?" Eiji spluttered as Ash hauled him toward his lap. Eiji's face burned, his arms wrapped around Ash's neck for balance. Eiji was straddling Ash now, their faces so close. 

"I'm going to count to three, and then I want you to...well..." He faltered. "Just don't act too surprised. And don't hate me. Say the safe word if you don't like it." Ash leveled him with a serious look. Eiji didn't know what Ash was planning and he was getting nervous, but the next thing he knew, Ash was already nuzzling on his neck, mouth parted and tickling the skin there with his breath.

Eiji moaned. Ash slipped his fingers through his crop top and gripped his waist. Oh god.

"Oh for heaven's sake, do you have to do that here?!" A loud voice boomed from the back, startling Eiji. He turned back and saw a fuming man. He was middle-aged, probably in his mid-thirites. But he had such a big bald spot for his age. That's the first thing Eiji had noticed actually. It was so attention grabbing.

"Oh it's you." Ash pulled away, a smirk on his face. "Like what you see?" Eiji was getting distracted by Ash fingers crawling up his chest and skirting so close to his nipples. Damn. 

But he man looked like he was going to have a stroke. And Eiji was loving that reaction so Eiji giggled and smacked Ash's hands away playfully, only to have Ash cup his chest. Eiji looked back to the man and saw him ready to explode.

"I hope you find your way back to the Lord, for you have strayed far from the path of the righteous." He closed his eyes and made the sign of the cross. 

Eiji rolled his eyes. Jesus Christ. Ash shot back. "Well at least I'm not the one who voted and supports a child rapist into office." He huffed. "Oh wait. I think it makes sense! You and your cult fits right well with him. How many kids have you touched huh?"

"You are such a disrespectful child." The man hissed. "The devil has corrupted you so much." He glanced at Eiji with a disgusted glare. "Your acts of sodomy with this...prostitute is condemning you to hell."

Well that's just rude. Conservatives like these were awfully judgmental. Eiji played with the hair on the back of Ash's neck. Ash made an interesting reaction before giving the man a dopey grin.

"I'm sure you blame the devil why you're cheating with your wife too, but sure." Ash snorted. "Because premarital sex and being gay is definitely worse than pedophilia and adultery. Go figure."

"You insolent boy--"

"We'll be having dinner shortly." This time it was Griffin who interrupted. "Please ready yourselves." He stared at Ash pointedly. "Dad and uncle John would be back soon." 

Just as Griffin said that, the sound of a truck parking to a stop outside. The door burst open and there was a large man with dirty blond hair and beard. Next to him was a scrawny man with tangled hair and a rather malicious glare. Eiji did not like the way he looked at Ash.

“Oh, isn’t this the little piece of shit.”

Ash rolled his eyes. "I see you're still a useless drunkard." He snickered. "What gutter did my dad have to fish you out this time?" 

The man snarled. "Watch your mouth you bitch." His eyes were on fire. 

Ash simply grinned wider. 

"Aslan. That's enough." The other man, Jim Callenreese, Eiji assumed, clicked his tongue and gave him a warning look. "Let's go eat dinner." 

Ash shrugged. 

They all broke away before they started a fight. John murmured something under his breath. Julia pasted on a smile, an unpleasant one rhough. Richard gave them a glare before going to the dining table, and Marcus made a face. Ash huffed at him and Eiji stuck out a tongue.

* * *

Ash was back in his childhood house after a year and he's already caused chaos in less than an hour. Good. He deserved it after all these shits made his life miserable growing up. 

He wouldn't even consider coming here if it wasn't for Griffin. Griffin wanted them to get along. He's doing this for their dad, because even if Jim Callenreese was a shit father and an even shittier person, Griffin the goddamn saint he was, still treated him as his dad. Ash couldn't blame him of course. He enlisted in the army and saw so many people die, he's bound to hold on to his family left.

Ash never his his displeasure from attending these things, but Griffin tells him every single year that their old man wanted him here, despite not knowing how to show it. Jennifer too says this. Well, if both was telling the truth, his dad had a shit way if showing it. He wasn't ever there for him when he's growing up, and all he's ever done was curse him and his mother. 

Ash didn't have any obligation to forgive him, and he probably wouldn't in the near future. He hadn't seen signs of him apologizing and if Ash was indeed his father's son, then he'd rather shoot himself in he leg than apologize. Unfortunately the assholery ran in the family. Griffin was just lucky enough to get his mother's genes. Still, while Ash absolutely found his father's existence to be scum, by the end of the day, Ash still spent half his life growing up with him, so he thought he had the carte blanche to feel conflicted about him, whether trying to be friendly with him was worth it or not.

His other relatives though? That was another story. 

It would be way easier if Ash only had to deal with his dad. But dealing with the other devil's and their spawns? He'd really rather get disowned. And that's exactly what he's trying for at the moment.

He sort of felt guilty though, causing so much trouble. He's not an animal, at least for Griffin's sake. Him and Jennifer, but honestly he also sort of hated Griffin for forcing him to come here anyway. It's the only thing he could fault Griffin for. As Ash said, he understood, but that didn't mean he'd want to like it.

"Why don't we all gather around and say what we're most thankful for?" Julie beamed with that overly wide and fake smile of hers. Ash wanted to roll his eyes. "I'll go first. I'm thankful for my husband and for my son. I'm thankful for the job opportunity my son's way way, and I'm thankful for god never leaving our side when we are in trouble." 

Ash wanted to throw up. He didn't even wanna listen to what the other's were saying as it turned around the table. And soon it was Eiji's turn, and he beamed at them despite the forced look of pleasantly from his relatives. 

Eiji spoke. 

"I'm sorry sweetie, you're in America. Speak English." Julie snapped with her condescending tone. Oh Ash wanted to deck her, but he knew Eiji was doing it on purpose.

"Sorry, English bad." He began again in such a heavy accent, and that obviously put a wrinkle on Julie's nose. Marcus snickered. Irritation started to roll within them. "I thank all you for inviting me in your lovely holiday. We have no Thanksgiving in Japan and this such a interesting exchange of culture," his grin insufferable. Oh god Eiji was killing it. "I find it interesting how Americans celebrate the killings of natives with turkey and pie. It's very exotic, nothing like my home town, so I thank you all for the experience."

Someone choked at what he just said. Probably Marcus. Ash held back his laughter as hard as he could. 

"Right, thank you for that. Aslan, do you have anything you want to say?" Richard cleared his throat, looking a little uncomfortable. Good, Ash thought. He should be.

Ash grinned lazily. "I'm thankful for all the crazy good sex Eiji has given me." 

More choking. Possibly, Eiji was one of them. But Eiji giggled though after that split second of shock wore off. 

"God, so you have to mention that before we eat?" Marcus groaned. "Fucking prostitute. Faggots."

"I can give you a show later." Eiji winked. "Don't worry, no need to be jealous. I can share."

Oh the look on his face was amazing. Eiji was frighteningly good at this. 

"Anyway," Griffin took control of the situation before it went out of hand. "Let's eat! Jennifer and I worked hard for this. Eiji, make sure to help yourself okay? Don't be shy."

Eiji nodded and started to dig in. Nope, no shame at all, unlike his usual polite self. Ash found it funny though. Here was the man who kept refusing Ash's invitations to treat him out and only ever gave in when Ash guilted him into it. Now, Eiji was taking as much as he wanted.

"Let's start talking to our guest, Eiji where are you from?" Ash was not expecting Eiji to be under fire right away, but his aunt Julie was trying to prove him wrong apparently. 

Eiji blinked at her and smiled. "Izumo. From Japan."

"What part of China is that?" Marcus added from the side. "You're Asian right? Do you speak Chinese?" 

Ash internally facepalmed. The sad part about what he said was that, he was absolutely serious. He didn't know what was worse. 

"Japan is a country and I speak Japanese." Eiji patiently answered, but his hand was clenched under the table. Ash wrapped his hand and gave it a squeeze. 

"You dumbass, he's as Jap. You know? The ones that fucking bombed us." Uncle John shot from the side, and even Ash wanted nothing else but to choke the man. 

"I mean we nuked them two times. Civilians too. So really, I don't see why we have to bring that up." Ash said between gritted teeth. 

"Eh. They deserved it. It's pay back." 

Ash looked at Eiji who looked like he wanted to say something but chose to drink from his glass of water instead. That was pretty uncomfortable. 

"Anyway! Let's talk about politics." Ash clapped his hand. 

"No politics in the table." His father finally said something for the first time. 

Ash ignored him. "Too late, uncle John already started it. Why don't we start with how our president is a fascist. All of you voted him, how does that feel?"

"Still better than Obama." John snapped. "Don't play your high horse. He's a war criminal as well. Dropped fucking bombs. And he's black." 

Ash huffed. "Like every other president didn't start wars in the middle east for oil." 

"They're fucking terrorists. It's not about the oil. It's an American responsibility to fight for you country. Be like your brother Griffin here who enlisted. It's an honor to die for America." The fucking bastard said and Ash could see Griffin wince at the words. That was rather insensitive of him. Ash gripped his cutlery till his knuckles were white. Oh he was going to kill someone tonight. 

"I don't see you volunteering for the army. Why don't you go of you think it's such an honor" He snapped. Griffin stared at Ash meaningfully, eyes telling him to shut up. Eiji's hand also grasped his thigh, urging him to calm down. Just this once, Ash wasn't going to argue with it. Just this, for the sake of Griffin.

Ash conceded, letting the conversation go to different topics and stayed silent through it. Something about whatever suburban mind were up to with their home association meetings, or baseball. Damn that sport. All Ash would do was snicker. Eiji laid a hand in his lap, jolting Ash from grumbling in his mind. Eiji gave him a look from the corner of his eye, probably gratefulness, or encouragement. Something along the lines of it's only a couple of hours long left.

Ash squeezed his hand. God what was he going to do without Eiji?

"So Aslan, you've been away for awhile," Griffin said with a smile on his face that was to cheery. "How is school?"

Ash was content just staring at his goddamn turkey and nearly glared at Griffin after snapping out of his trance. He loved his brother, he does, but did they really need to do this? 

"It's alright." Ash stabbed his slice of turkey with his fork. “It’s…happening.”

“Oh yes, you’re still in your college where they brainwash you into becoming radical,” John said between gulps of beer. It’s always beer. “You’re a fucking communist, that’s what you are. A terrorist.”

“I prefer socialist, thank you. Marxist doesn’t sound bad either. But I doubt you even know what that means.” Ash grinned and didn’t let it falter. The first person who lashes out loses. That’s what Ash learned from years of living with these shits. He’s a well-trained asshole, born from the pits of the same breed. And they need to stop red-tagging him, seriously. Anybody who sat and listened properly in a political science class knew that communism wasn’t actually bad if only too idealistic, and that the soviet’s version of communism was fake as fuck.

"Go back to Russia commie. Those higher educations does nothing but radicalize you into fucking anarchists." 

Jesus. Pick an ideology. Ash rolled his eyes. "It's almost like getting educated makes you realize how fucked up all of you and your beliefs are."

“Oh there’s Aslan, acting like the stuck up asshole he is, bragging about his IQ and how intelligent he is, and how he got to college.” Marcus mocked.

“At least he’s smart enough to go to college, you don’t even look smart enough to know how shut up.” Eiji murmured, though it was obviously loud enough to let everyone on the table to hear. Ash snickered. EIji was focused on eating his food, nibbling on spoonfuls of mashed potatoes.

“I don’t remember asking your opinion chink.”

Eiji shut his eyes, but said nothing. He simply smiled at them coldly. That grated on Ash’s nerves.

”Alright!” Griffin cut in, looking at Jennifer nervously. ”Let’s talk about something else.”

“Julia, I heard Marcus got in a new job?” Jennifer began. “How’s that working out for him?”

“Yes, thank you for asking,” She looked all too smug when she said this, as if she was so eager to be in the spotlight, craving that attention so badly. Ash wanted to snort. She wasn't even the one who should answer it. “He's trying to get in as a police officer.”

Now, Ash wasn’t able to hold it back, and he snickered and rolled his eyes.

“Do you have a problem, Aslan?” She looked at him with those annoying eyes, blinking with faux innocence. Everyone was looking at him.

“Nothing really, I’m just amused. Of course he’d try to be an officer. You all are a republicans after all, you just can’t help but be an asshole. You and your asshole friends.” He challenged her. In his defense, he’s already tried reasoning with them with logical arguments from all the past holidays they met, and he’s only ever met with frustrations and an inexplicable urge to kill someone.

So all be could do was even out the playing field and inconvenience them the most. 

"At least we have respectable friends." Julie's husband started to join. The dude really looked exactly like how you'd expect a dick to be. High up his high horse, stick up his ass, a self righteous prick. Ash would call him Dick from now on. "Yours are rather...suspicious in nature."

He said this while eyeing Eiji with that disgusted look, and Ash was fuming. He didn't have the right to look at Eiji like that. 

"Because by respectable, you mean a bunch of straight white men who get together and talk about how shit their wives are, aren't they?" Ash snapped. "Or those who absolutely kept harassing waiters, and catcalling women. Why don't we add hitting on minors there? Because of course gay men, prostitutes, and people with tattoos are the sinners."

"They are." Dick insisted, his religion so far up his self-righteousness ass, Ash was surprised it didn't come spilling out of his mouth. Oh wait, it just did. "You and your lot spread aids. Harlots honestly, you plague the world with your disease and if you continue down that path, you'll end up in the flames of hell. Infidels."

"Oh bootlicker, how does Reagan's soles taste? Have you tasted Trump's yet?" Ash was so goddamn tired of doing this every goddamn year. "I heard he fucked kids too. Seems down your alley."

"You say this, but you're the one who doesn't have manners." 

"Someone forgot to teach me some, right dad?' Ash shot at his frowning father. That was a good look on his face, that scandalized look. Not that it wasn't perpetually there, but at least Ash was actively causing it instead of just being there for no reason at all.

"Yes, I agree," John growled from his seat with a lousy smirk. "Your useless mother is the one to blame. If she didn't leave, she would've taught you some manners." 

Ash slammed his hand on the table. "Don't talk about my mom like that! If none of you were assholes and pathetic, maybe she wouldn't have left!"

"Your mom's a bitch and you know it!" John snarled equally loud. "What do you think Griffin feels? Your whore of a mom seduced my brother and drove his wife out! And now she got pregnant with you and left when she realized you were such a piece of shit. She'd rather be anywhere else than deal with you and now we're stuck with a useless bastard." 

Ash faltered back. He felt a little dizzy. That wasn't true. It shouldn't hurt him as much, it really shouldn't. He's heard this a million times to know it wasn't fucking true. 

"Ash, calm down." Griffin stood up from his seat. 

"That's some real nice way to end the meal." Ash threw his spoon and fork on the table. The noise of the loud clatter was sharp to their ears. 

"Well! That was really nice. I really enjoyed eating, Ash come with me for a second, will you? I think you promised me dessert. Why don't we get it your room for it?" Eiji stood up and dragged him out of his seat and tossed a wink at the crowd, herding Ash to the stairs and to his old room. 

Once the door closed, Eiji rushed towards Ash's side. "Oh my god, are you okay?" 

Ash threw himself on the bed. "Goddamn it! This was a terrible idea!" He kicked the mattress with all the frustrations he held back over the night. "Why did I think this was a good idea? I'm a fucking dumbass." 

He felt the mattress dip with weight as Eiji sat down next to him. His hand was warm on Ash's shoulder, comforting. "I'm sorry you have to go through that." Eiji murmured.

Ash shook his head. "No, I'm sorry I had to bring you to this. They said so many mean things to you. Shorter was right, I shouldn't have brought you. I should have just brought him with me instead, or ditched this whole thing." He rested his head on Eiji's lap, just like when they lazed around in the dorm after studying. He was still so upset, but he supposed this part of the day was the best that could come out of it. 

"Would you rather have Shorter with you than me?" Eiji carded a hand through his hair like clockwork as he always did when Ash was upset. 

"Well...no.." Ash admitted softly. "I still rather you're here with me. But Shorter would be less...I don't know, he seemed to be able to handle himself."

"I can handle myself Ash." Eiji laughed. "as you said, I'm a bastard deep down. And with your family Iike that, I really wouldn't have minded punching one of them." 

Ash joined the laughter. He got up and looked Eiji in the eye. "Will you really do that?" 

"I would!" Eiji bet. "I'll definitely do it." 

"That would have been a sight to see." Ash teased. "And how exactly would you have done it?"

"Like this!" Eiji squealed before pouncing on Ash and pinning him on the bed. Ash yelped and struggled out of Eiji's grasped. He wrestled with him for control, limbs hitting limbs, bodies pressed and pushed together. Ash managed to roll on top and shifted his weight so that Eiji would be beneath him instead. 

"Ash! No fair!" Eiji giggled while trying to kick Ash off of him. Ash tightened his grip on Eiji's wrists and used his legs to lock Eiji's from movement. 

"You're the one who started it! Shut up and stop moving!" Ash cackled. Eiji squirmed beneath him, pouting at him, knowing he already lost. 

"You're such a bastard Ash." Eiji huffed at him, face furrowed, but his eyes playful. 

"I am a bastard." Ash grinned at him. "I'm your bastard. And I'll always be your bastard. I'm going to be a royal pain in the ass for as long as I can."

Eiji smiled at him. He was so goddamn beautiful beneath him even with only the shitty florescent lights. He was so pretty, so fucking wonderful, panting like that, hair splayed out on Ash's old blue bedsheets. 

Ash swallowed the lump in his throat. He always managed to take his breath away. Oh god. What a blessed sight, to be this close to one Eiji Okumura. 

"Eiji?"

His chest was so tight, pounding a hundred beats per minute. Oh god. Oh god.

"Yes, Ash?" He said this in such a reverent voice, so soft was his whisper yet it managed to damn Ash somehow.

Ash licked his lips. His mouth was suddenly dry, suddenly unable to speak, to formulate words. "Do you--? I...well, I mean--I--"

The door slammed open and both of them shot towards the direction of the sound, jolting away from the trance. 

"Oh damn, did I disturb an intimate moment?" Griffin stood by the door frame, eyes wide and a little shocked. "I didn't expect both of you to be actually fucking."

Ash in all honesty never wanted to scream more in his life than now. 

* * *

After that weird moment of getting walked in, Eiji and Ash had untangled themselves from each other. They've been too close, so so close Eiji felt like he was about to combust. 

They weren't even doing anything wrong. It's how they usually were, do he shouldn't be too embarrassed about it. But Ash looked like he was going to say something. 

Eiji's face burned. It probably wasn't that important. Probably. He should keep his focus on the scene at hand. 

"Griff, this is Eiji. My friend. I put him into this whole thing. We're not actually....a thing." Ash decided to come clean to his brother. 

Griffin laughed. "Oh hell, I know you weren't. I know you too much Aslan. Delinquents aren't really your thing. Soft Japanese boys though with a little crazy on the side, is. And I know for a fact that you wouldn't look like you're still pining if you were in a relationship. The expression is all over your face." 

"Griff!" Ash's face as a dark shade of pink. It was always do easy to see the blush on his face. "Didn't say that!"

Eiji didn't really understand what that exchange meant. He stared between them with confusion. 

"Jesus, I really hope you two work it out." Griffin sighed. "Anyway, I came here to apologize. I think a conversation is needed." 

Ash crossed his arms. "What are you apologizing for? I'm the one who ruined shit and caused trouble." 

"That's not true." Griffin ran a hand through his hair. "Would you rather we talk with Eiji here, or would you rather we do it alone?"

Ash looked at Eiji with such open vulnerability, a plea for security and safety. "Whatever you'll tell me, I'd rather have Eiji by my side."

Griffin then turned to him. "And you? Would you rather stay here as well?"

Eiji nodded firmly. "I want to be with Ash's side. Always." 

Griffin snickered. "Jesus, this is what I meant about you guys working it out. The next time I see you, I'd be really angry if you haven't." He laughed. Ash cleared his throat with a pointed look. 

"What were you going to say?" 

"Alright. I'm done poking fun." Now his face turned serious. "First off, I apologise. I know and you've told me countless of times you didn't want to come, but I forced you anyway because I had hoped this would at least get us together with dad. He doesn't know how to show it, but he cares about you."

Ash huffed. "Yeah, well he's gonna have to try harder. It's not my job to forgive him. You saw him awhile ago. He did nothing, always the negligent asshole." 

Griffin nodded. "You don't need to anyway. Just--" he sighed. "If he does try harder, can you at least not close the idea of meeting him? Take all your time really, you are also not obligated to. I'm just saying if he does change...well..." 

"That depends if he actually does, doesn't it?" Ash grumbled. Eiji knew Ash's relationship and feelings for his father had been a strange one. On one hand, he fucked up his life. One the other, he's spent half his life with him. It's not easy to let go of these things even if he hated him. It was the same with Griffin he supposed, but Eiji believed Ash's brother had too much patience than what's usual to be able to tolerate him. There's a lot of mixed feelings there that's not yet dealt with. 

"Alright." Griffin smiled again. Satisfied with Ash's answer. 

Ash also ran a hand through his hair. They had the same mannerisms actually. It was adorable. At some angle, they also looked a little alike.

"Griff, about mom--"

"It's fine. You know it's not true. And we both know my mom and yours left dad because he's a piece of shit of a husband. He's a terrible dad too, I don't blame you for bolting the moment you could." 

Ash frowned. "You could always leave."

Griffin sighed. "Actually, I think I'm planning to soon." 

Ash immediately perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah. I have a friend who's in some journalism company, said they needed new people in. Max? Remember him? He offered to let me stay in his apartment in New York too. We can split the rent." Griffin beamed.

"Oh god Griff that's great! What part of New York? That means I can visit you right? Wait, when is this happening?" Ash looked so excited over the revelation. He was cute actually, no longer was he sulking. It was like that didn't even happen.

"Hold on. It's probably a month from now. No need to get too excited." Griffin chuckled.

"I'm glad. I'm just really glad. You don't need to be with these shitty relatives of ours. Well, they've always liked you better anyway." Ash snorted.

"It's about faking it Aslan. It's a required skill." Griffin smirked. 

"Well that's not my style."

"Oh, faking it to gain favor has its perks. When you're the favorite child, you can do anything. Example, what if I tell you I can make sure that you will never have to come to any family holidays from now on?" That scheming look on his face as so alike Ash's. There's mischief written all over it.

Ash's face started to morph into the exact copy of Griffin's. It was like a distorted mirror reflection.

"I'm listening."

* * *

It was a surreal night. Ash just faked a fist fight with his brother in the middle of Thanksgiving in front of the family, insulted everyone in the room with no holds barred, and got his ass banned from ever seeing them again. All this with Griffin's permission. 

Ash was loving it.

Now he was back in the interstate, driving a hundred miles per hour with Eiji wrapped around his waist while cackling off their asses. 

Holy shit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it I tried I failed it's cringe but we'll laugh at this after I forget what I wrote in the future lmao. Anyway we're down to the last chapter. Thank you so much if you waited for this all this time hahah I literally just don't know how to be an assholes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was unfair. Ash didn't need to sound so concerned and worried when he said that. He didn't need to soften his voice with fondness and affection that Eiji just knew wouldn't reach anywhere, at least not in the way Eiji desperately wanted it to.
> 
> So Eiji groaned. "I'm turned on okay? I'm really hard right now!" He snapped, finally blurted out, embarrassment be damned. This was normal. This was normal between men. It shouldn't make him flush so much. He expected Ash to laugh at him, to tease him for being such a kid. 
> 
> But none came.
> 
> Instead, Ash was wide eyed and mouth slightly parted. He had this pink flush dusting his cheeks. He licked his lips while his eyes darted down before going back up to meet Eiji's eyes, unable to decide where to look. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned to finish this by Thanksgiving but I was dying with my research so nevermind. Hahaha and I gotta study for finals but tired so accept this. For those who waited for this and is still reading this till the end. Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. Enjoy

Eiji was laughing as he recalled whatever the fuck just happened at the end of the night. He was back in Shorter's bike, wrapping his arms around Ash, whooping through the countryside as they zipped through the dirt road on the way to the interstate. 

Ash was cackling as well, wild and free. He cheered. You'd think getting kicked out of your house and never allowed to go back would end up with them in a gloomy attitude. 

But as it was, the events were too funny to feel bad, and sure there night be guilt gnawing in Eiji for being rude as that was raised to always be courteous, he couldn't deny how they deserved it.

Eiji shut his eyes and suppressed his laughter, pressing his shaking body on Ash's broad back, fisting his shirt while he recalled.

_"Punch me."_

_Griffin beamed at them, overly excited over the idea he suggested._

_"I'm not going to punch you!" Ash spluttered. "are you crazy?"_

_"Look, you don't give a shit if they hate you right?"_

_"They already hate me. I don't actually need to do anything." Ash huffed._

_"Well, I'm sure the only reason they let you come is because of dad, and if I tell dad we fought and I hate you, he's probably not going to ask you to come." Griffin explained. "At least until I say so, which would be when you do want to come. It's fool proof." He clapped his hands and handed them a few dollars. "Here's for the motel, it can only afford you one bed though, but I doubt that's a problem."_

_Ash looked conflicted. He scratched at his head in distress, obviously reluctant to deck his brother on the face. "But do I really need to do it?'_

_"Come on. It'll be realistic. Just don't break my nose. Otherwise, any of the others would heal. I had Jennifer get along with this too." Griffin goaded. To be fair, Eiji thought, he really didn't know what he'll do if he was in Ash's shoes. If his sister asked him to punch her, he'll obviously hesitate. But the again, chances were, Eiji would definitely punch his sister. It's what she would've wanted too._

_"Yes but imagine me asking you to punch me. I don't go around telling people to punch me."_

_"Actually Ash, you do go around saying that. Usually it's in subtext though." Eiji giggled. Ash pouted at him for the betrayal and Griffin simply laughed._

_"I get why you like him. He's absolutely wonderful. I bet he owns your ass half the time." Griffin turned to him, with shining blue eyes. "Please take care of my brother."._

_"Griff!" Ash clenched his fists, face red. He's absolutely embarrassed with the way he was whining._

_"What? I'm saying that your friend is absolutely lovely, and you're such a pussy for not yet confe--oohmf!"_

_And out of nowhere, Ash hit Griffin straight to his jaw._

Eiji didn't want to assume about what Griffin was going to say though that caused Ash to deck him in the face without hesitation. Griffin was probably being the teasing older brother he was. Nothing more. Yeah, Eiji reassured himself. There was nothing to get worked up for. Absolutely nothing.

_"Insolent bastard!" Griffin yelled with a wink before pulling Ash out of the room, down the stairs and into the living room. His cheek was absolutely swollen from Ash's punch and he attempted to smack Ash in the head, albeit probably lightly. "Ungrateful shit!"_

_"Son of a bitch!" Ash screamed as well while pulling away from his grasp. All the other people stood up cleared away. They probably never saw Griffin this angry. Or...well act angry. Eiji chased them down the stairs._

_"You're the son of a bitch! You came from a bitch and you'll always be one as well!" Eiji could see the wince on Griffin and Ash's faces both._

_Ash snarled. "Well you don't have a mom either! She left you too!"_

_"Now who's fault do you think is that?" Griffin made a weird gesture with his eyes that Ash somehow understood the way brother's seemed to be able to. It took a few seconds to click though._

_"Well it this fucking family's fault! This was a shitty family from the start! We got a negligent old man who preyed on young girls and cheated on his own wife! No wonder the bitch left him!" Ash kicked at their furniture. "We have an alcoholic uncle who's bumming off our father's money! Not to mention a racist, sexist, bigoted homophobic asshole who's got no accomplishment in life besides being a fucking asshole! I wonder why dad hasn't thrown his ass out?" He cackled, absolutely loving this opportunity._

_"And next is an absolute beast of an aunt who would die if the world don't revolve around her! She's so desperate to get laid, she married a dick who cheats on her with different women in every single day of week. He targets highschool kids too!" Ash spread his arms out dramatically. "You know how all your savings went to shit? It wasn't fraud I tell you! This asshole spent it all on his side fucks. I think you might want to file a divorce soon." He pointed at his cousin. "And this dumb fuck never learned shit. You think being ignorant is a personality trait? Grow up. You got your mom's narcissism and your dad's stick up your ass. You're jealous because you've never done anything remotely fun in your life and you know it. You have a sister who's just as terrible as your mom! Suck a dick Marcus!"_

_"Aslan, shut the fuck up!"_

_"No I don't think I will!" Ash cackled hysterically. "I'm done shutting up! I don't give a fuck about this family. Disown me for all I care!"_

_"Go to hell Aslan. We don't want you here!' Ash's aunt yelled at him. There were so many displeased faces in the room._

_"Nobody wants you here anyway." Marcus parroted his mother._

_"Everybody quiet down!" Somehow Ash's father decided to cut into the argument. He's actually involved for the first time. "Will everyone just calm down? Nobody is disowning anyone." Jim Callenreese stared down at Ash disapprovingly. "Aslan you better apologize."_

_Ash huffed. "Now I have to apologize?! Fuck you old man. You're all such an embarrassment to my boyfriend."_

_Ah. This wasn't the right time for Eiji to feel his heart flutter at being called boyfriend._

_"Nobody wanted your whore to come here either. Who does he think he is, coming in wearing such scandalous attire? Look at those pants!" The uncle-in-law snapped._

_"Hey, these are my formal pants. This doesn't have my ass and dick hanging out." Eiji couldn't help the retort from escaping his mouth. The way his face turned purple made it absolutely worth it._

_"Dad, I'm sick and tired of having to deal with his ungrateful ass. He doesn't even want to be here!" Griffin sighed. "Let him leave and never come back, Jesus Christ. Nobody wants him here."_

_But Jim Callenreese either really wanted to build a relationship with his son, or he treated Ash as his property because the way he said it, he sounded oddly possessive. Eiji don't like this man. At least for now. "He's not going anywhere! He's my son and he'll always be my son. That's final!"_

_A bang erupted in the room, causing everyone to shut up. Eiji could hear the ringing in his ears as he searched for the source of the sound._

_It was Jennifer with a rifle on her hand, smoke floating at the tip. "Everyone shut the fuck up or I will shoot again!" She cocked the gun and aimed it at Jim. "You, let him leave so we can all finally dine peacefully. I've been listening to all of you all night and you are all a bunch of bastards!" Then to Ash "You, don't even come back here! Or I will not hesitate to use this." She murmured threateningly. "And the rest of you! Sit the fuck down and eat the pumpkin pie, goddamnit!"_

There really want anything to say after that. Not that anyone could say anything when a lady was aiming a rifle at you point blank. They were able to leave the house without further arguments. It took them a few minutes to register what happened and start cracking up with laughter as it all sunk in. 

Anyway, they were riding on the way to the highway, bumps and cracks making the road shaky and maybe a little dangerous. Eiji held on Ash tighter, fingers digging into his flesh. It didn't take long for them to leave the dirt road and back to asphalt and the interstate. It was dark and late for a full drive back to their dorm, so maybe they would stop by a motel.

The road of the engine was loud, the vibrating machine between their legs rolled across miles and miles. The other cars zoomed beside them. It's like the world faded away just to this moment. Eiji pressed his face against Ash’s broad back, breathing in the scent of his sweat, cologne and the traffic around them. He could stay like this forever, just ride on and on and on while he was in close proximity to Ash, his warmth seeping in his skin while the wind whipped at their faces. Everything was so peaceful. It was lulling Eiji to sleep.

In here, Eiji could pretend. He could believe that he was in a date with Ash, and they were going on a date on this bike, zipping through the interstate. And he could touch him like this every day. If only.

“Woah there.” The rumble of Ash’s voice was so pleasant. “Don’t fall asleep here. It’s dangerous.”

Eiji groaned. “But you’re so comfortable.” He pressed his face closer to prove a point and tightened his grip. He even slipped his fingers under Ash’s shirt. It was so warm, goodness. So good for his freezing hands.

“Hey!” Ash jerked up, jostling Eiji from his position. Ah. “What are you doing? That’s it, we’re going off the road. You’re getting too sleepy to think properly.”

Eiji didn't know why he found the flustered crack in Ash's voice funny, but he did anyway and he chuckled. 

Ash said this but it took them a good while before they found a decent motel by the road that had a room for them. Of course it was late, and of course they could only afford one room. Most of them were taken by the other highway drivers anyway. It was thanksgiving. It’s only expected.

It didn’t make things easier for Eiji though. At least the reception didn’t bat an eye on his clothes. He supposed it wasn’t such an unusual sight at this point. It wasn’t such a fancy place, but anything with a bed it shower would do for Eiji.

Ash got them the keycard to their room and Eiji was thankful at the prospect of getting a bath soon.

* * *

So they’ve slept together in one bed before.

No biggie.

It was all a necessity. They were being practical. It was thanksgiving and there were no rooms available, that was it.

That didn’t mean Ash wasn’t going to die deep inside.

“So, shower?” Eiji asked him. Ash was sitting on the bed while Eiji started to strip the oversized leather jacket off his shoulders. Ash’s mouth was dry with Eiji’s every movement.

“Sorry?” He blinked. _Focus Ash._

“Why don’t you take a shower first? I’m probably going to take a while if I go first with all this make up caked on me.” Eiji explained. “I would’ve wished I can change into something else though.” He huffed, pulling at his pink shirt.

They didn’t being any spare clothes, Ash would have let Eiji used his old shirts if they didn’t leave the house so soon, but right now they were empty handed.

Well, maybe not exactly empty handed.

“I didn’t bring us shirts, but we do have this.” Ash pulled out a tupperware from his small bag. “Ta da! You were promised pumpkin pie, so you will get pumpkin pie.”

Eiji’s face lit up at the sight of it. It's doing wonders in Ash's chest. “So that’s what was in the bag.” He giggled while sitting right next to Ash.

“Thanks for today Eiji.” Ash murmured while opening the lid off. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Nah. I’m sure you’ll do the same for me.” Eiji waved a hand away. “That’s what friends are for right?”

 _Friends_.

“Yeah, friends.” Ash should’ve put more enthusiasm into saying that. He should have, and yet here he was sounding like a disgruntled old lady. Jesus, he needed to get himself together.

“Something wrong Ash?” Eiji tilted his head like he always did when he was confused. It was a habit that Eiji didn’t catch himself doing even though Ash had already pointed it out and teased him about it loads of times.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Ash said with a smile on his face, too tight for comfort. God what was he doing? What did Ash even get himself into? Why was he suddenly getting all grouchy and irritated?

But deep down, he knew why. Of course he did. Shorter warned him about it. He had already mulled over it countless of times. He had kissed Eiji once and he no longer wanted anything less. He had held Eiji like a lover, and now he wanted more. His heart wrenched at the idea of going back at friends.

Ha! Going back? They didn’t even become a thing.

“Here,” He picked a slice. “aaahhh.”

Eiji snorted. “I can do it myself Ash.”

“Think of this as part of me saying thank you.” He smirked, playing it off. It felt almost wrong, doing all this with an ulterior motive. Eiji obviously didn’t want any of his advances. He should stop.

But Eiji rolled his eyes, lips quirking up. “Oh fine, go ahead.” He was always indulging him, always letting Ash do as he pleased. God, why was he like this? Why was so goddamn good to him? It was so easier if there was something about Eiji he could hate, some kind of flaw. And yet even all his flaws were pieces of him that made him endearing. Jesus.

He was a fucking sap.

Ash slowly raised the sweet to his mouth, his tongue peeking out while he bit off a piece. The whip cream smudged on his lips. Ash could just reach out and wipe it off, lick it clean. He refrained from doing so, wary of the consequences he dared not cross.

“Mhm.” Eiji hummed, chewing the pastry with a soft moan. “It is good.” He licked his lips from the crumbs and the icing.

_Don’t kiss him. Don’t kiss him. Don’t kiss him._

Ash needed to tear his eyes away from those pink lips.

“I’m going to shower now.” Ash declared.

He needed to leave before he did something stupid.

* * *

Eiji grasped at the slick tiles of the bathroom after Ash had vacated the shower.

Ash was acting a little strange. Truth be told he’s already been acting weird since they went to his house--no even before they got to his house. He was awkward sometimes, stiff. It looked like he was uncomfortable of Eiji’s touch sometimes.

Eiji only had one primary thought running in his head. Ash must have realized that he was in love with him and was feeling awkward. Or Eiji did something wrong and Ash was finding ways to tell him about it. Maybe he'll try to clear things out later but he's finding it difficult to. Eiji always found it difficult to. Confronting feelings wasn't exactly his thing.

But Eiji thought that he should start it. At least so that Ash wouldn't be too scared to hurt his feelings. He'll initiate it, and then hopefully they could stay as friends, and hopefully Eiji could get over him.

But Eiji had kissed him a while ago.

And for a second there, he could've believed that it was all real. 

It didn't mean anything. Ash was always teasing him. He was willing to go through some elaborate scheme to annoy his relatives. He was always joking around, playing with his feelings whether knowingly or if he was oblivious to it. He's always done that. It was simply Ash's nature to. 

He didn't know if he could take it. He didn't know if he could be content with just friendship. But he needed to. He simply must. For the sake of their relationship.

After making sure no trace off makeup was left on his face, he wrapped a towel round himself and walked out, steeling himself for a confrontation. 

* * *

Ash was down to his pants, his shirt discarded after he took a shower. 

He stared at his phone and tried not to think about Eiji who was stark naked just a door away. He kept his eyes on his phone and away from those thoughts. 

He could just sleep it off. That way he wouldn't need to confront these feelings. But he knew that was impossible. Sleeping while Eiji was in too close proximity was just hopeless. Not while he's feeling this. His heart was pounding, hands clammy. Oh hell, what was he getting nervous for?

The shower door opened and out came Eiji in his naked glory, a crisp white towel the only thing covering his modesty. He was wide eyed as he met Ash's stare. He moved on and slipped on his boxers, and that pink crop top on. It was less provocative than the first ensemble, and god did that do wonders to Eiji's figure. Ash was having troubles keeping his hands to himself, but Eiji looked so soft like this too. Ash wanted to tuck him in his arms. 

So this was how he's going to die huh?

He gave Eiji a shaky smile, he could tell something was bothering him too. 

Eiji finished patting his hair dry so he hung the towel before making his way towards the bed, shyly taking up space on the mattress while Ash scooted over. How awkward. Ash wanted to soothe Eiji's concerns, but how could he when he was in a turmoil deep inside as well? 

"So umm..." Ash cleared his throat. 

"I was thinking--" Eiji said just as Ash spoke. 

"Yeah?" Ash immediately backtracked, bit Eiji shook his head.

"No you go first." Eiji insisted, which left Ash little say upon the matter. 

"I was going to suggest that we sleep already because it was a long day." Ash said quickly. "But if you wanted to do something else--"

"No sleep is good. It's fine. Let's do that." Eiji blurted just as fast. Why was the tension so thick in the room? Why was it so awkward? Was Ash making all of it weird? 

"O-okay then." Ash laid in bed, slipping under the thick comforter, absolutely aware of Eiji next to him, the heat of his body seeping into his arm. Ash was certain he wasn't going to be able to sleep like this.

Seconds ticked to minutes. Ash was left to stare at the ceiling, trying keep his breathing even. On his side was Eiji with his back turned to him. The space between them felt like miles away, but at the same time it was closer than ever. Ash was always aware of the distance between them. He was always subconsciously counting them in his head. A few paces, a hairsbreadth, always too much and never enough.

"Eiji..." Ash broke the silence with a piercing utterance of his name. For a moment, Ash thought Eiji had already fallen asleep with how long it took him to respond, but there was shuffling on the other side before a breathy answer greeted him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." 

There was a low laugh from his side, surprising Ash with that reaction out of all he could have done. 

"What for? Haven't you thanked me already awhile ago?" Eiji faced him, a smile quirked on his lips. 

"For putting up with my weird antics and shit." Ash said. "For I dunno, being my friend and being well...you. Can't really explain it. But I like how you are, even if sometimes you're a piece of shit. But you're my piece of shit you know?"

Oh god Callenreese, shut up. What was he even saying? 

But Eiji laughed even harder at this, so maybe Ash said something right after all. Eiji was snorting between his giggles, and sure maybe it was at the expense of Ash's dignity, but all of it was nothing in the face of Eiji's adorable laughs. He was a weak man. 

"I didn't take you the type to be sentimental." Eiji wiped his damp eyes with the heel of his palm. 

Ash smirked. "It's Thanksgiving. Isn't it the whole point of this thing? Be thankful about something?"

"It's a celebration of history revisionism--" 

"Oh my god Eiji." Ash snickered, shoving his friend playfully. "You smartass." 

"I'm right and you know it." Eiji let the last of his laughter fade with a sigh. "I'm thankful too. I don't think I survive college without you. It's difficult in a foreign country so I'm thankful." 

Ash stared at Eiji with wide eyes. He wasn't sure about his expression, but it must have been a mix of awe and surprise, probably something really silly. Fingers wrapped tentatively around his hands and he flinched in surprise. 

Before he could do anything about it, those fingers retreated back and Ash could feel the regret dropping into his gut. Eiji's face was unreadable, but he looked like he really wanted to say something, Ash had anticipation thrumming in his veins, twisting his stomach into knots. 

"Ash--"

_Ohhhh._

Eiji's mouth snapped shut at the sound, eyes wide in shock. 

Ash blinked as well. That was...that was...they imagined that right?

_Ohh yeah fuck._

Whatever anticipation was in him was replaced by dread. Holy shit. This was not real.

_Hnghhhh baby oh fuck yeah baby._

No no no no no. 

Eiji's face was bright red. Ash had a suspicion that he was mirroring the same look. 

_Mhmm baby you're so big. Fuck fill me in with that big cock._

"Umm..."

Next was the sound of creaking from next door's bed. It was a motel. They should have expected something like this, but here they were anyway. The walls were thin and every sound their neighbor made, they could hear. They probably didn't care either, what with exhibitionist tendencies clearly bleeding from their words alone.

_Oh baby oh honey oh fuck._

It was Eiji who first laughed nervously. 

_You're so fucking tight._

Damn. 

"Well, there goes sleeping I guess?" Ash started a conversation just to keep the awkwardness away.

"Let's umm...wait it out. I'm sure they'll be over soon." Eiji squirmed in his place, looking away as the sound became more intense. It's almost like the gods were teasing them. Maybe it was karma. Sure they were being assholes, but surely they didn't deserve this?

Normally Ash wouldn't pay them any mind. Ash was tired enough half the time to be able to tune out anyone fucking their brains out next to him. He's had his fair share of fun too. He wasn't often so horny that a little bit of moaning would get him all bothered. It was just like porn playing in the background, easily forgettable. But with Eiji next to him in bed, shuffling uncomfortably, face hot and dusted pink.

Well.

"You good?" Ash teased his friend, but even that came out breathier than he wanted to. Eiji made a noise at the back of his throat.

"Of course!" Eiji huffed. He mentioned his inexperience with Ash in a passing. He didn't know how Japan was with teenage boys, but maybe they were more conservative than Americans. Or Eiji simply lived in an environment where there was little action. Not that the thought of Eiji in the arms of some man or woman sounded appealing to Ash. He was thankful actually, even if it was a little selfish, that Eiji hadn't done any of that with anyone else. 

The creaking from the other side sped up. The sound of slick and sloppy squishing were so loud, together with the never ending moans. Eiji was obviously uncomfortable, and he was covering his face from Ash, if only to hide his flustered expressions. Shame, Ash would have wanted to see that dark look of arousal in Eiji's face, just a glimpse. It was natural. They were still hormonal teens. Well...no actually they were in their early twenties, but hormonal all the same. 

And Eiji was technically older between them, which would make the situation funny if Ash didn't feel like his heart was going to burst with how fast it was beating.

_A-ahh fuck I love you. I love you. Oh my god I love you so fucking much! Ah!_

Well.

This was going to be a long night. 

* * *

Eiji wanted to die. 

All 8 million gods of Izumo were punishing him for something he did in his past life. Or for being an asshole. This was the law of equivalent exchange wasn't it? 

How embarrassing. He was a twenty two-year old man. He shouldn't be so affected by this. He could handle hearing two people have sex, right? He didn't need to feel the weird roiling in his gut at every moan and every creak of the bed. He didn't need to feel his blood heat up over it. 

He was pathetic. A pathetic virgin at the age of twenty-three, that's what he was. He tried stealing glanced at Ash who was smiling at him with this teasing smirk, knowing eyes brightly lit. Eiji wanted to groan.

His own inexperience was obvious. Sure Japan wasn't chaste either, and he's seen his fair share of dirty mags, filthy manga, heck the anime industry was filled with mature content but--

This was different. It was different watching it on screen and hearing it here, listening to it while the man he had risque dreams about was right next to him and looking at him like that and--

_Oh I love you. I love you! Oh fuck I love you!_

It was unfair. 

Eiji could already feel his blood rushing down south, something hardening between his legs. How embarrassing. He felt like a hormonal teenager all over again. 

His mind had this overactive imagination and sometimes it wanders off to different scenarios, like what if he was making those sounds, what if he was the one being done like that, and his partner was none other than this beautiful man next to him. It's probably the only reason why he was affected like this to begin with. 

Of course these were all in his private thoughts, and even if he was paranoid, Ash wasn't a mind reader. There was no way that he was going to know all of Eiji's filthy desires. 

That being said, his body was the one to betray him this time. He couldn't stop it from moving on its own accord. His heart beat fast, his breaths coming to pants. He rolled over to the side to keep his face hidden from Ash. 

Maybe he can just sneak in to the bathroom to relieve himself quickly. Sure She would laugh, but the alternative was worse. He didn't even want to think about the alternative. 

He went to move away when a hand brushed over his shoulder, sending fire down Eiji's body with a jolt. He twitched with a gasp which sounded more like an obscene moan than a sharp intake of breath. 

How embarrassing.

"Eiji? Are you okay?" Ash was still holding his shoulder with his firm grasp, eyes concerned than teasing now. Eiji wanted to break away, his hands were desperately bunching up the blanket on his waist and hips. 

Eiji shook his head. 

"What's wrong?" 

It was unfair. Ash didn't need to sound so concerned and worried when he said that. He didn't need to soften his voice with fondness and affection that Eiji just knew wouldn't reach anywhere, at least not in the way Eiji desperately wanted it to.

So Eiji groaned. "I'm turned on okay? I'm really hard right now!" He snapped, finally blurted out, embarrassment be damned. This was normal. This was normal between men. It shouldn't make him flush so much. He expected Ash to laugh at him, to tease him for being such a kid. 

But none came.

Instead, Ash was wide eyed and mouth slightly parted. He had this pink flush dusting his cheeks. He licked his lips while his eyes darted down before going back up to meet Eiji's eyes, unable to decide where to look. 

It was making Eiji a little self conscious. Ash's breaths were also as shallow as his own. Something about the air felt thick, and Eiji was conscious of every beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest. He was focused on every detail and spaced out at the same time. Ridiculous. Why was he feeling like this?

Finally, Ash remembered to speak. "I can help. If you want to." 

Eiji snapped his gaze towards Ash's green eyes which were hazy and clouded with something indescribable. He looked for a hint of mockery. Maybe Ash was playing with him after all. Maybe Ash was that cruel. But if he did this. If they did this and it the end it all meant nothing to Ash...

"Please." In one delusional moment, it almost sounded like Ash was begging. Begging for Eiji. 

Eiji was a fool. 

Wordlessly, he nodded and let go of his tight grip on the blanket. Ash pulled the fabric away and stared at the bulge between Eiji's legs. Tentative hands palmed the heat of his hardness, making Eiji hiss.

"Is this alright?" 

Eiji shut his eyes and nodded. He couldn't look Ash in the eye. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this. Ash's fingers dipped within the waist band of his boxers and they wrapped around the weight of Eiji's cock, pulling it out to the cool air. It made Eiji shudder. He was already leaking so much. 

It was good. It felt too good. 

Ash tightened his grip, no longer was the touches teasing. They were firm. He dragged his fist up and down his length, making Eiji buck up his hips and cry out in pleasure. Fuck. 

He tried to keep his focus on the sensations. He couldn't look at Ash. He couldn't. He shouldn't. He was going to come undone the moment he does. A thumb circled the tip of his member, playing with the uncut skin there that made it even more sensitive. It made Eiji gasp and whine. 

This really was happening. He was here with his best friend who he was in love with and had no chance, while he jerked him off like it was nothing, and Eiji was letting him even though he knew that it probably meant nothing to the other man. He was pathetic. 

Ash sped up his pace and that familiar sensation buzzed within his body, simmering in his gut, heat pooling even deeper, drawing out pleasure from every stroke. Eiji could feel his thighs tighten, something within him felt heavy, coiling, unraveling. And when it was too much, Eiji bucked his hips with a loud cry.

He spilled himself all over Ash's hand. Everything was overwhelming. He was trembling from it all.

"E-Eiji? What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Why are you crying?" Ash stopped his touches to cup Eiji's cheeks. Eiji drew away. He wasn't going to be able to stop himself if he let Ash touch him like this. 

"I can't do this." Eiji whispered. "I can't--I can't let you touch me like this. I can't--not when I know it means nothing to you." 

"Eiji...what are you talking about?" 

"Please just drop it Ash." Eiji wiped his tears harshly with the heel of his palm. "It's just going to hurt me in the end. I know you don't like me that way but you don't need to do this. You don't need to pity me." 

"But I don't pity you Eiji. I never did." Ash rasped. "Do you regret it? I'm sorry I didn't mean to, you could have told me to stop--I should have--I would have--"

"No!" Eiji snapped with a sob. "I like it too much okay?! Why do you need me to say it?! I like it too much and it's hurting me to know that this is some causal fuck to you because I like you so much and I think I might be in love with you since months ago!" 

He said it. 

He said it out loud once and for all.

Ash didn't say anything. It could have gone better. Eiji didn't want to be crying as he confessed his feelings. In fact, he wasn't planning on confessing at all. Neve mind that. It was over. It was done. Eiji ruined a perfectly good friendship over his stupid feelings.

"What?" Ash had the gall to sound confused.

Eiji glared at him. "I said what I said. I'm not repeating any of that again."

"No--I mean--" Ash spluttered. "What makes you think this means nothing to me?" He gestured at the space between them. It wasn't much. 

Eiji laughed hollowly. "Oh please Ash. You literally asked me to fake date you for an elaborate scheme. You just do that. You're casually messing around with people, playfully flirting, saying I love you to me as a joke. You don't mean half the things you say." 

Eiji must have imagined it. It must have been the light, but a flash of hurt passed through Ash's face.

"I meant every word. I do love you. Even if you won't believe me." 

"But not like I do with you!" Eiji sobed. "Forget it Ash. Just drop it."

"No." Ash's face darkened, his voice pitched lower than usual. "No. I'm not dropping it till you believe me. Until moments ago, I didn't even know my feelings were requited. Damn it Eiji, all this time I thought you weren't interested at all. All my advances were shut down. How am I supposed to know?"

Eiji's breath hitched. Ash took his hand and grasped it firmly. He pulled it towards his bare chest until Eiji could feel the pounding of Ash's heart, fast, steady. 

"Believe me Eiji. I've fallen for you since maybe only a little after we met. God Eiji, you can ask Shorter about it, he was there for all my pathetic pining. He can tell you about it in detail if you won't take my word for it. I know this is all new and strange but, you don't need to hurt me like this--you don't need to hurt yourself. Why don't you think that me liking you is real?" 

_Because I'm a nobody. Because you deserve someone better. Because you're you--because--because--_

"I'm afraid." Eiji finally said. "I know nothing about this. And you're too good for me. You're _you_."

"And you're Eiji. You're too good for me too. Heck, who else would indulge me with my crazy ideas? Who else would put up with my shit? Not Shorter for sure. My pining had already irritated him beyond sanity." Ash chuckled. "Please. Now that I know that you like me back--well, you don't need to say anything now. You can take as much time as you want, but promise me Eiji, can we try? And if it doesn't work out, you're free to end it anytime. Just please, try for me." 

The pleading in Ash's voice was undeniable now. He was looking at Eiji, imploring him. This cannot be real. Eiji was dreaming. No way was his best friend and roommate confessing to him as well. 

And yet.

"For real?" Eiji whispered. "You really want me?"

Ash chuckled. "For real. Oh god. That outfit you wore? And when you kisses me? I was about to go crazy. It's a miracle I survived. I asked you to come with me because I don't want anyone else to be with me when I face those shits. I want to spend time with you. I'm sorry I didn't think about what you felt." 

God this man. Eiji really couldn't say anything against that, could he?

"Okay." Eiji said shakily. "Okay let's...let's try something out."

Ash's face immediately perked up. "Yeah?" 

Eiji laughed softly as well, the excitement infectious. It was still surreal. "Yeah. But um. Ash can I kiss you again?" 

"Yes. Absolutely. You can. Anytime you want." Ash grabbed his face, smiled at him before pressing a chaste kiss on the lips. On the cheek. On the forehead. Nose. Chin. He peppered Eiji with kisses until Eiji captured Ash's lips and slipped in a tongue. Ash moaned just a bit out of surprise but melted away, eyes closing at the sensations. Eiji lost himself into it.

* * *

Eiji was kissing him.

Eiji was kissing him for the second time of the day and this time his feelings were returned. Oh god. 

"Ah fuck." Ash gasped as he pulled away panting. This was too much. He was already aroused from seeing Eiji moan under his touch. He was already near combusting. But this? He was already exploding.

"What's wrong?" Eiji fluttered his eyes open. 

Ash shot him a sheepish grin. "Sorry I'm going to have to take care of business. It's been going since I took care of your--well. Let me just get up." He looked down at the tenting on his jeans. Eiji's face flushed at the sight. He needed to do something about this before he went insane. He got up to pad over to the bathroom. Eiji was staring at him wide eyes.

"Wait." 

Ash paused midway. He wasn't prepared for what Eiji was going to say. 

"Let me help? I mean you helped me. I thought maybe I can...as well?" Eiji looked like he didn't even know what he was saying. But Ash was delighted at Eiji's words. 

_Calm down Callenreese. Don't scare the poor boy away._

Said boy was a few years older than him. 

It didn't matter. He needed to tread this carefully.

"Okay. If you're sure. You can stop anytime." Ash stared at him seriously. "I mean it."

Eiji chuckled. "I don't think I'd want to. But he'll me what to do." 

Ash nodded. "Okay." He lead Eiji's hand from his chest to his navel, down to the hardness between his legs. He hitched as that warmth bled to the fabric between his crotch and that hand. Eiji was palming it, zipping his pants open so that his member would spring out. 

It was wet, flushed pink, and unlike Eiji, he was cut. He was a few inches bigger than Eiji as well. Eiji was visibly gaping at it, making Ash a little self conscious. 

"You can touch it. Go ahead." He let Eiji wrap his hand around the sensitive head. Ash shivered in delight. Yes, he thought as Eiji twisted his hand around it. Yes. Ash let our moans of appreciation. 

It was clumsy, but Eiji was doing it so it was always better than anything Ash could come up. Not to mention that Eiji's own member was gaining interest. It was twitching back into hardness.

"Eiji," Ash's words were breathy, the way he said Eiji's name was like that of a whine. Eiji's eyes widened at the call. His eyes were blown wide and hazy. Ash had a feeling he wasn't far from that either. "Let's do it together. Wrap them together." 

He pulled Eiji towards his lap and Eiji gasped when their cocks brushed against each other. Both their hands were stroking together, but Eiji was grinding against Ash impatiently. He was so into it, he didn't even notice he was doing it involuntarily. 

"You're so into this, aren't you?" Ash tipped his head back with amusement. "Feeling good?"

"Shut up!" Eiji pouted with a hiss. He pulled Ash into a kiss, effectively keeping him from talking. God Eiji was getting bolder. His movements were less hesitant, and he started trailing open mouthed kisses down Ash's exposed neck. 

Ash's eyes rolled back when Eiji hit one especially sensitive part of his skin. He could feel the smile of Eiji's lips against his neck, smug. So much for a blushing virgin.

But the familiar tightness visited Ash again, and he knew he was getting close. By the looks of it, Eiji wasn't going to last either.

"Eiji. I'm gonna cum." 

Eiji whimpered, grinding and stroking becoming more desperate. "M-me too."

"Together?" 

Eiji nodded enthusiastically. Ash sped up his strokes. Something sharpened within him, heat in his gut, threatening to burst and--

Eiji screamed as a second orgasm ripped through his body. His cum splattered all over Ash's chest and a few of them reached Eiji's chin. He slumped against Ash, panting heavily.

It didn't take Ash long to follow upon seeing the look of orgasmic bliss on Eiji's expression. 

"I love you." Ash whispered when he finally collapsed on the bed, trying to catch his breath. 

Eiji smiled at him, and for the first time, he finally replied.

"Love you too."

* * *

Ash and Eiji we're back earlier than expected. Shorter knew because they rode to Chang Dai at least a day earlier.

Something changed between them, Shorter observed.

It wasn't difficult to figure out. 

Because Shorter peeked through the backdoor's blinders where they parked the bike, and found them holding hands. 

It happened so fast, but he was certain Eiji pressed a quick kiss against Ash's lips before getting off. 

Beside Shorter, Nadia whistled with a cool smile on her lips.

"Glad those two figured things out." She said before going back to work.

Shorter agreed. Yes. He was glad for them as well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it folks. Thanks for sticking around till the end. This was fun to wrote and I'm glad you enjoyed this silly fic of mine hahaha


End file.
